this, that y otras cosas más: Celebrating

March is Women's History Month.

At least in the US

so over the next 26 days,

I will make sure that all my entries

are related to the topic.

I will start the trend, as I usually do,

on a personal note.

Below is my first personal essay

on the matter.

It's being edited as we speak,

so what I share it's probably quite raw

but this is my own platform,

so I don't mind not waiting for the final version

and showing it as I first wrote it.

***

I AM A WOMAN, SO WHAT?

Right, so I am a woman. Actually, we aren’t that unusual. We make up a little over half of the world's population and yet for some weird reason, we still need to prove that we are worthy. Isn’t that absurd?

I personally think it is, and not just absurd, but exhausting and painful and draining and the list can go on and on and on. Believe it or not, I only came to this realization 5 years ago when all of a sudden, the dots began to connect and I could see the picture that they were forming.

I guess everything began the moment that my parents conceived me and I was a XX chromosome. That day, I became the first daughter, the first granddaughter, and the first niece of a loving family from the north of Spain. From that day on, I checked most boxes -- I went to an all-girls school, loved being dressed up in princess costumes, took care of real-looking baby dolls and wore grandma knitted purses. There were also a few unchecked boxes -- I played soccer with dad in our long corridor at home and I was one of the youngest female members of my hometown soccer team but again, those were just a few unchecked boxes.

Very soon, I got to understand that most of the affectional support came from mom, grandma and aunties and most of the practical support from dad, grandpa and uncles. This was one of the most “helpful” realizations, since I quickly learned to adjust my behavior to my need and to the type of human I was dealing with. I also came to realize that duties were divided and that in most cases, mom, grandma and aunties shared the same responsibilities and that dad, grandpa and uncles shared others. Then, I realized that what was happening in my microcosm, was also happening at my friends’ houses, at school, at the stores, everywhere I went. It was so predictable. We were like robots and I was one of them in the making.

Suddenly, one Sunday, during one of our typical lunches at my grandparents’ house, something sparked. Gathered around a big family table, there were three generations enjoying grandma’s cooking and each other company. There was grandma, grandpa, three of my uncles and aunties, mom, dad and my four eldest cousins (at that time, I was still the first and only daughter, granddaughter and nice). We were all eating, laughing and interrupting each other while talking when suddenly my grandma stood up and said: “Silvia, my love, help me clear the plates, so that I can bring the dessert.” I am pretty sure that everyone kept going with their usual business – why wouldn’t they? Grandma was just fulfilling her robotic duty of clearing the table to make sure that the rest of us could eat dessert. Nothing shocking for the rest but it was for me. Grandma, my intelligent and loving grandma, had asked me to stand up and help, even though I was still chewing my food and had 1/3 of my meal on the plate. I looked around and my cousins were all done and playing with the bread, so timidly, I suggested that one of them helped her. To my astonishment, grandma said: NO. I quickly swallow what I could and went to help my sweet and robotic grandma.

Clearly, that day, I was too young to make a sociological study of the situation but I wasn’t too young to feel unfairly treated. 25 years later, at a therapy session in Manhattan, I realized that that Sunday was the trigger that made me embark in the life that I have embarked. When I turned 18, I left my loving microcosm to venture and discover myself and the world, only to realize that my microcosm and that Sunday lunch was repeated everywhere I went; that the world is in fact a robotic structured system that treats women unfairly.

And the fact is that we women make up a little over half of the world's population, but yet we account for over 60% of the world’s hungry[1]; that we women perform 66% of the world’s work but still earn 10% of the income and own 1% of the property[2]; and that up to 70% of us women experience violence in our lifetime.[3] So I wonder…until when?